Monday, May 22, 2017

An Open Letter

An open letter?
Is it not the recourse of attention hungry fellows?
What would you write, if at all?
What is the pressing need and NOW for heaven’s sake?
You have knocked every door and aren’t you done already?
Who reads the inane crap?

As of writing this thing, I have no idea why it all propped up suddenly and why I have to justify all sorts of imminent doubts creeping at the back of my head. Prolly, cuz I have never written one. May be I want to tick this off from my ‘to do list’. May be I am at the crossroads where people take a pause and reassess, reflect and make sense of things around them. As for as I remember, it started when too many assignments at the start of my PG took the sheen off my brain conditioning and threw me in a bottomless pit. When I proclaimed around the same time, my love for cinema and my desire to be a filmmaker, it cut me off from the normal. I would fuck up in placements, I would fuck up every job that came my way. And along all this I have had a perfect alibi; ‘but I want to be a filmmaker’. I tell you what, justification for worldly failure is easy but to fuck it up where it all matters, you need to be an expert self-liar. May be I am tired of all this regular hollow reasoning, that I am suffering from bi-polar disorders for over a decade, that corporate world has always been unfair to me, that I tested the water in Bombay spending all I had saved, that I am not cut out for networking, that I am a lock in a cell with a pen and paper fellow, that I didn’t find a godfather blah blah blah. But fact is “Kabhi hum kaminey nikle, kabhi doosre kaminey."


Deep down all of this is a lone voice somewhere that reassures ‘you have waited tables, you have taken orders from the lowliest of kinds, you have been damaged all it had to, moving on you have nothing left to lose-so you might still be bestowed with the dancing girls’.  Bloody hope; it’s a bitch, a recourse that refuses to leave.

So how does a loser cope with the failures? But isn’t what art and literature and cinema is for? You don’t need a life to have a philosophy or ideals, you need ideals and philosophy to have a life. God knows how else would I have fared had there not been a Howard Roark or a Tyler Durden in my life? A being is wedded to the idea of heroism always and mostly subconsciously but he definitely is. And what would life be if it is not invested into being a hero oneself or for that matter try to create a metaphor of one’s own imagining. I liken my suffering to the Dostoevsky’s created tragedies, I get my weird kinks in the world of Chuck Palahuink, Howard Roark steadies me, and the idea of a telling a story spurs me like nothing else.

Wherever you are in life, there will always be people more skilled, more intelligent, more talented, more gifted than you are. And to learn to deal with this fact is the greatest challenge in today’s time. And that’s where arts come into the play. You just need to outdo your own self here and none else; no peers, no colleagues, no cousins, no none.

I have been fed up an endless ‘How to Crap’ myself. How to keep your passion going while keeping the day job, how to cut corners wherever you might, how to lay low for the final blow and how to survive corporate juggernaut et al. And the verdict is nothing suffices in itself. People dictating so have no idea of your real true self. They are teaching the same stuff to machines which are fast catching up. You have to save yourself from the algorithms and from your distracting self and Internet is the biggest disruption there ever has been.


Life is a struggle even without your approval so you might as well pick up the battle of your choosing and then fight it like hell. It’s too long otherwise. Ask me. 
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Sunday, January 15, 2017

Off Site

Saattal Recap
The bag was packed the previous night, all the essentials were taken in, I whiled away the hours in the office in the anticipation of a fun filled ride to the Saattal. I met the rest 21 of the CA-ites at the scheduled departure time. There was chaos with regards to the seating due to it being spread across three coaches but was sorted subsequently. Everybody had greeted everybody else and all were geared up. After all the aim of the trip was to get to know each other, understand different side of their life and bond and gel together.
At around 5 in the morning everybody woke everybody else up, Kaathgodam was it, we had arrived. We were all driven to the camp site and everybody was allotted their respective tents and soon we all gathered up for our first activity:

Listening to chirping birds: We were all asked to observe the talking sparrows. Subsequently we had to fathom as to what exactly are they conversing.  We had to write it down and share it with the rest. The views were so diverse and varied. Some of the learning is as under:
Ø  Since all the views were different, it emphasised we are all different beings with different life views. We have to understand that especially in the context when someone doesn’t agree with us. The mere understanding of the fact will help build our perspective.
Ø  We interpret the things the way we are, the mood we are in and since we have different moods at different times we need to understand that as well. Handling mood of ours as well as those around us is a key to balanced relationships.
Ø  It gave us a chance to understand and observe something different. How often in our daily schedule do we take a halt and do an act not expected of us? Not often. But we must. Not only will it provide us with a needed break, it will also broaden our thinking.
Ø  Also, the more we tried to interpret their talk, the deeper we went inside our own mind. It took us to our dormant but strongly held beliefs. 
Yes that was it, the first activity. Well, the thing is before each activity we were told of the rules and at an opportune time Manoj (the instructor) will share the distinctions with us based on our experience of the same.

Next up the gang of 22 was split into two, to take swimming and kayaking up in turns. I was into the team to take swimming first. There were eleven of us to test the water, I mean literally. The thing with water is it can be both exhilarating and dampening. Having geared up with life jackets some of us went straight in, few chose to stay back.

Anush being one of the earliest to dive needs some introduction here:
Anush: It’s been a while since we know each other. We shared a couple of metro rides on our way back home from office and had enough of interaction beyond introduction. But here I got to know a different side of him. Without knowing swimming not only was he the first one to dive, he chose to cross the length of lake. He was at ease and showed no nerves throughout. During the entire trip not only was he at his humorous best, he was also very open to interact and share his side with every member. He still had his mind stuck into his impending exam a couple of weeks away but he was enjoying it all through. Some of the craziest and meanest laughter moments he gave us. Energetic. Enthusiast. Full of life. Focused. A man to have around especially if you need fun and want to enjoy little moments.

Coming back to swimming not only was it about overcoming internal demons of fear, it was also as much about goal setting and internal assessment of strength. As in:
Ø  Do I have what it takes to accept the challenge?
Ø  How much is that I can accomplish without giving up?
Ø  Do I get bogged down or inspired seeing others fail/succeed?
Here I am reminded of Saddam.
Saddam:  A quiet and sedate man of varied interests and immense strength. I interacted with him before the trip as well but couldn’t know him that well. All I wanted on this trip was a man who could talk books and movies with me and am glad to have fostered a lasting bond with Saddam sharing our tastes in them. Saddam was there with me in almost every activity and am surprised to say that not once did I find him complain. He took every challenge head on and his approach was solving the issue at hand. It was a treat when he was gazing the stars in the night while deep into the lake, unfazed of the fact that he doesn’t know swimming. A composed individual with stamina and diverse interests,  on his way to take up bigger challenges ahead.

But how can you leave Tushar behind?!
Tushar: A ‘Games of Thrones’ crazy, a soccer manic, exuberant and the most hydrophobic of the lot, that’s Tushar for you. The in house DoP, he captured the moments for rest of us. The first thing he asked me once back from the trip was, “Give me all the seasons of ‘House of Cards’, I got to do that, too.” Yes, that’s the craze among the young these days: to do the Seasons! The great at hand he is with painting, he was way ahead than the rest in the painting activity. A keen observer of the human nature, he has a good sense of perceiving them.  Courteous. Honest. Docile.

When you talk of observing human nature, you can’t overlook a stand up and that is what Manmeet is.
Manmeet Brar: The man who invented our 23rd companion: Harpal Singh. An artist in making, a good friend, my tent mate. Per our Whats app group, ‘he likes to keep us in his heart’. Can be casual at times but a deeply caring individual. When his team missed the treasure hunt in the night, he along with Anush were the ones who woke up at five and headed for same; shows dedication man. Also, both of them made up for it by altogether skipping an activity (ahem ahem). I mean they decided to give their body some rest. Does a man, who takes it upon himself to make others happy, by going that extra mile, need any more adjectives?

But up next is the man who deserves many of them:
Sunil Arora:  During our casual interaction it turned out that we both had applied to the same college in the same batch, that he chose to stay in Delhi for personal and professional reasons is a different thing but it connected us in a way. He was the organiser; throughout observant and attentive without once being interfering. Sharp at sharing distinctions post activity and mild and humble otherwise. We were in the same team in Kayaking and he was instrumental in pushing us to the limits. A true team player and an insightful individual.

Kayaking: At the hindsight, this Kayaking is about co-ordination, communication, chemistry and being realistic about the goal. But once in the water, the adrenaline takes over. The Kayak can be very frustrating, especially when you want to move it towards the right and it turns towards the left. It tests your patience and skills and despite your best efforts it can still be the same rigid thing. Sudeepta was the best among the lot in Kayaking and was single handily responsible to take his team through. There was some good, neat rivalry and it indeed was a unique exercise in establishing proper co-ordination and communication among the team members. It was liberating in a way when you see even a non-swimmer like Sarwar excel in it without much fuzz.

Did I just mention Sudeepta?
Sudeepta: He’s the newest crop from my alma mater. We discussed the new campus, faculty, placements and general happenings in our institute. He shared his passion for wealth management and how his summer project on same landed him at the CA. He’s a part of the extremely well performing Hyderabad team and it reflects in his general dealings. All through the various activities his focus was always on the job at hand. A humble being, an intelligent professional.

And when we talk of Sarwar, not only did he excel in Kayaking, he also accomplishes so much otherwise.
Sarwar: He is from my CARE team, one of the oldest workhorses around. He’s down to earth, a family man, a team player. A man to take on the responsibilities, he was the first one to align the rest towards the various activities. A bit of a hydrophobic but always the one to concentrate on the things at hand. He had decided not to drink but thanks to Shibin, he was made to. I mean he took it for coke when indeed it was the disguised solution. And imagine that too very early in the morning. But overall a man to have around.

And something on Shibin:
Shibin: Yes we all know him by his drinking escapades. But there is a different side to the man. He has some of the clearest fundamentals in life. Oftentimes we overlook so much that is to be offered by an individual especially in the wake of his drinking habits. Take for instance, his love for Khaleesi ( a damsel in the popular series Games of Thrones) and his unflinching interest in Sunny Leone. Jokes apart, it was indeed a treat to see him dive into the water from that elevated tree. He confessedly loves being inside the water. He was the life of the group. We shared the same tent and he made it the epicentre for the rest to drop by in, for both liquor as well for fun. Yes he likes to be noticed, as per the instructor. But who doesn’t?

Blindfolding Exercise: All of us were paired up, with two members in each team with each one to be blindfolded on the way up in turns. The blindfolded one had to listen the story shared by the other. Some of the distinctions learned are as under:
Ø  Trust is the most important thing in a team. When you invest in trust-building, you can reap the lasting rewards. Once you trust your partner for certain things you can focus your attention on other, more pressing issues. This way it not only saves time, it also improves efficiency. Trust works both ways: it has to be invested into, it has to be earned of.
Ø  When we were listening, we realized how much, we, as humans, want our stories to be heard of. So paying attention to whims of our fellow team mates is desirable. Making someone feel valued is the least we could do in our daily affairs.
Blindfolding reminds me of Kamal, my partner there:
Kamalkant: Since he had to speak first, he shared his experience of being in Gurgaon, his life in general. He’s from a village in Orissa and visits it as and when time permits. His has a big home there and he discussed the challenges his parents face and how he makes up for that. The first thing he told me when I was blindfolded was “Trust me and I’ll take you there without any difficulty”. A caring individual and a man probably facing the more arduous challenge in life: to manage his affairs in the village while still do his duty at CA. He’s doing it efficiently and must be appreciated for that.

And appreciation connects me to Siddhant:
Siddhant: Born in Ambala and brought up in India, that’s his bio. A natural leader, focussed with sight always on goal. During one of the interactions he quipped, “You are hardly 22 and if you don’t work hard now, when will you”. Tells a lot about his approach in life. Always up for challenge, he has a unique sense for dealing the issue at hand. One to lead from the front, a gem in the making.

Talking of gems another gem is here, Naval Kishore.
Naval: Humane. Humble. Hydrophobic. Happy. A relaxed individual, a great cook. He took his own sweet time but made the sweetest of an Aaloo curry in that lunch making activity. Never once to interfere more than the necessary, he takes life in his stride. It was great to see his childish effervescence during that stone pelting competition in the lake.

I take this time to introduce one of the quietest dudes on the trip:
Amit: Amit and I had quite a few activities together. He is reticent and slightly reserved. On the conference day we visited a mall together and there I could see his excited side. Always the one to offer his helping hand whenever required. One of the interesting moments was when he chose to do the dishes after lunch when rest of us were a bit hesitant in that. It was a perfect example of dignity of work, something all of us can learn from.

All of us has a lot to learn from Suneel Kumar, too.
Suneel: He was a sport throughout. He gave the rest of us the freedom to laugh sometimes even at his own expense and that’s no mean feat. He was all the time testing his physical limits; be it in swimming or while scaling the mountain up. It was awesome when he enacted Sunny Leone during dumb charade. Almost always the first one to start an activity and in finishing it too. Despite being of medium built, he’s an energy powerhouse.

Treasure Hunt: All twenty two of us were divided in three team and given a map to chase the elusive treasure of a flag. We stumbled, we argued, we freaked out, yet the intent was to go at it all the time. There were moments of doubt, excitement and anticipation as to what all is on offer. But few of the lessons there were:
Ø  When you are near the goal and have to make that critical decision, you have to, with a detached mind-set, evaluate all the alternatives and arrive at a choice and then back that choice to the hilt.
Ø  It’s important to manage your resources well, including the human ones, in pursuit of the objective.
Ø  A cohesive well-knit unit will always outperform its rival.
Treasure reminds me some of the hidden ones:
Lokpati: A selfie crazy, a kayaking pro, the disciplined. During one of the interactions he shared his experience of being in Delhi for years now. He’s originally from Gorakhpur and has worked his way through to sustain himself in a city like Delhi. Generally reserved but the one to take the matter at hand seriously. A balanced individual, a punctual one.

Satish: He is so attentive and mindful so as to carry Bidis in case the cigarettes fall short. I have special place for people like them in my heart. I mean everyone downplays us smokers. Good at drawing, better in water and awesome in life. Always with a smiling face. A family man with an unusual sense of humour. And mind you, he never smokes inside his car and neither lets you too.

Hrushikesh and Ashutosh: All three of us were together in having lunch at the local house. I hadn’t interacted much with them until then. Hrushikesh shared how he left a job as there was nothing much to do. ‘I want to work my way up by slogging at this point in my life’ he evinced. An individual with a large and kind heart. It was a pleasant surprise when he simultaneously offered his gratitude towards the hosts along with Ashutosh and me. Ashutosh, too was taking keen interest in knowing how the life works in Mountain, source of their livelihood, their family et al. He taught photography to the kids at that house. A likeable individual, a good fellow.

Lunch making: The task was to decide your own menu, acquire the required resources but get the lunch ready by 1 PM at the latest. Again the team were same as in the treasure hunt. Some of the lessons learnt are as:
Ø  The variety in your menu is directly proportional to the standards you set for yourself. It’s not some law but an arrived consensus.
Ø  Also, if you go for a lesser menu(goal) and make up for it by being totally amazing at it, is not a bad thing either. (Ask anyone who tasted Naval’s potato dish)
Ø  If you are happy achieving lower than the benchmarked, probably you are doing it wrong.
Ø  Timelines can be pain in the whole scheme of planning but efficient resource management is handy to deal with it.
And when you talk of lunch you can’t keep Rupam away.
Rupam: “I am a Punjabi from Amritsar so get ready for that extra ghee in the meal”. She took a lead in lunch making and was always at the forefront of activities. During the treasure hunt she was a bit worked up but never let it disrupt the hunting. She’s quite handy at painting too. A good swimmer, a level headed individual. When Suneel was hungry and asked for something to be eaten, she offered him an Alpenliebe. It was the deadpan moment of the trip. But overall a good resource manager.

Night Swimming: I would not like to look at it in terms of learning. It was in plain English; an Experience. Star gazing in quiet, dark night in slightly chilly water was it all about. No less no more. And that makes it special.

Being special takes me to Neha.
Neha: “I didn’t expect it to be a smooth ride and had an idea how it was going to be, so I came prepared.” She shared this on our way to night swimming after two days of intense physical activities. An adventurer, quite a sport and determined individual. Always to offer help whenever required. A good soul. And she has a sense of humor too. And yes never once bossy.

Collaborative Painting: We were given a brief about developing it. Everyone had to chip in and it had to look like one integrated work. Again there were three teams. There were timelines and there were rules. And as usual there were lessons:
Ø  Ethics is the basic and fundamental thing that is to be adhered to. Rules aren’t for the sake of it. They not only have to be followed by, they have to be kept in mind all the time.
Ø  Also, even if there are rules, there is still scope for innovation and creativity. And the use of creativity and innovation separates good teams from greats.
Ø  You can’t be different just for the sake of it, there has to be substance behind it.
Ø  If you are the leading performer in your team, your job is to pass the buck and not hide the team’s shortcomings. Pass the knowledge and reap the dividends is the way to go.

And now the last two members Neeraj and Sachin:
Neeraj: He captured moments for us. Neeraj chose to stay away from water as did many others during swimming but was in to his own when he chose to Kayak. Always the one to mind his own business. He had some issues with Treasure Hunt but so did rest of us. He was always there when it came to share the experience and learning post an activity.

Sachin: First thing first. He didn’t mind rum. This is with people from Bombay, they don’t mind rum. Sachin made it clear on the whats app that he’s missing us and those moments. A passionate individual, my occasional smoke partner. Observant.  Expressive. Upbeat.

So that was it, my Saattal experience.
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Saturday, November 3, 2012

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Meanderers' Musings



She: This ‘fuckery’ called life; I had grasped its nature long before you did.
He:    Are you sure? And what’s sooner or later for that matter?
She:  The only way to kill this eternity is to believe in those small things like they really do matter.           
He: I envy you not for your intellect but for your patience.
She:  But it’s not about patience neither intellect, you ability (or lack of it) to feign interest in people is your only survival kit.
He: ‘Man is a social animal’! Fuck that! Can’t it be just animal?
She: Can’t a Secular Democratic Republic do what it’s meant to do; i.e. provide equal opportunity irrespective? Stop kidding idiot.
He:  It’s not your ‘know it all’ attitude that irks me; it’s your near perfect observations that upset me.
She: And it’s not your delusions, it’s your child like belief in your hopes that amazes me.
He:   For a guy with no weekend schedule, for a grown up with no retirement plans, from a rational idealist to absurdity’s flag bearer, doesn’t my range impress you?
She:  This ‘lookhagiri’ is worth to die for but for my inability to give a damn ;)
He:  Alas! This could be limited to you only and not be all pervasive.
She: Lols! This loser like lamenting, doesn’t it demean you?
He: But mocks also that portrayal of some vague idealist.
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Friday, August 24, 2012

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Here a worry, there a fury


Is it worth to make it large
You pause and you ask

If only there was nether 
Alas a benchmark

When useless is the glory
And fake all this bark

You turn to passion
And you want to surpass

But myth is a bitch
But history is a farce

This need to belong
It never makes you strong

This urge to flaunt
It always plays truant

When skill is a sham
When idols go ham 

Via a hero you escape
And a hero you blame

You hide being weak
You never admit bleak

But you love to exploit
And you love being coyed 

But love is a trade
A trade man made

When circular is your doom
You work out your boom

You search it in scriptures 
You pretend being holy

You go on exchange
And you form a chain

You go on prey and you hunt in pack
You overlook the man and you honour the slack 

It’s all but a jamboree 
Here a worry and there a fury.
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Thursday, January 19, 2012

She

Warning: The following short story is a work of fiction and any resemblence to any person/thing living or dead is deliberate and purely intentional. *blinks*

The world outside the window was at its usual pace. It was not often that he would walk down the memory lane at this hour of the day. But today he got reminded of her and the world she would portray. Gurls are emotionally stable and she made no exception, except that her intellect would set her apart. ‘Honor and purpose go together until you choose humiliation as your destiny.’ she once remarked off handedly. Sillier with the silly and nicer with the brilliant, she always was. Simple and benign thoughts she would use for the commoners and her insights she would use sparingly. Chirpy and vivacious on the exterior, she was quite the thoughtful in her personal space. Only few can enjoy the crowd and the solitude with equal elan that she often would. Simple to be with she was quite the enormous in her ambitions and in her expressions.

‘Be the change you want to see, you jerks. Don’t ruin yourself in the wastful.’ she once addressed. From the time immemorial she had a firm grip on the functioning of the world. She knew the audacity it requires to live on one’s own terms. Not that being different was a fad to her, it’s just that nothing else would entice her. ‘Half measures and you are done. You can either be a cocksucker or a total rebel. You can’t be a cocksucker rebel.’ she declared often. Not many people are adept at believing in their beliefs and doubting their doubts. You are either blessed or you are not. She was fortunate to be endowed innate.

‘But your life, my dear, is The Myth of Sisyphus. And until you start enjoying fiddling with the stone, it’ll keep coming and haunt you.’ she once told me. Not that I was ignorant about it, but coming from her in so crisp and clear a way, it stays in the mind till date. No wonder after years of incommunicado, I still think of her. No guess her world view and her understanding of philosophy of life still spurs me in parts. ‘Fight, Arjun, fight. Fight for the sake of fighting. No reason can be grand as that.’ she would often proclaim while steering the wheel of life. Spreading the message of the God, her life itself had become the message.
SheSocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Inanely Incurable

Me1:Now what?
Me2:The void.
Me1:Self imposed?
Me2:Of course.
Me1:Any wayout?
Me2:Yes, the exile.
Me1:Any chance of uniformity?
Me2:In hell, may be.
Me1:The more you think, the ugly you think.Right?
Me2:The mind is designed that way.
Me1:But why vent out?
Me2:Else, the mind may explode.
Me1:And you once said liquor, smoke, sex could do to calm?
Me2:They don't.
Me1: Why you are the way you are?
Me2: I am doomed to be a spoilsport.
Me1: And you think blabbering on social network could help.
Me2: But neither does silence.
Me1: It's always the darkest, before the dawn.
Me2: You jerk, it's only pitchblack from there.
Me1: If your 'dilusion of grandeur' is incurable try to put it to some use.
Me2: It won't be a delusion then.
Me1: The more you wander the jocular you become.
Me2: The quiter I become, the sooner I choke.
Me1: You are a thankless creature.
Me2: In more ways I am.
Me1: Gratitude, is immense by the way.
Me2: Only to invite humiliation.
Me1: Half a decade is still a long time to learn lessons that aren't taught in B-schools.
Me2: I have maufacturing defects.
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Rand-dom

She: So new year, new beginning-aaye haaye marr zaava.
Me: Bitch, try if you can be even more caustic.
She:But doesn't it work with you that way?
Me: And sometimes I need compassion as well.
She:I am incapable of to be compassionate--to you.*winks*
Me: If I didn't see Dominique in you, i wudda tataoed you long back.
She: The longer you stay in Rand-dom the longer shall your misery be.
Me: I am over that witch by the way, to a large extent except where it connects me to you.
She: 'My King of Romance' I am flattered. *Blushes*
Me: And there, there you hurt me Bitch-the most.
She: And there, there I hang off. CIAO.
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Saturday, September 24, 2011

Chemical Locha

Charlie Kaufman: [voiceover] Do I have an original thought in my head? My bald head. Maybe if I were happier, my hair wouldn’t be falling out. Life is short. I need to make the most of it. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I’m a walking cliché. I really need to go to the doctor and have my leg checked. There’s something wrong. A bump. The dentist called again. I’m way overdue. If I stop putting things off, I would be happier. All I do is sit on my fat ass. If my ass wasn’t fat I would be happier. I wouldn’t have to wear these shirts with the tails out all the time. Like that’s fooling anyone. Fat ass. I should start jogging again. Five miles a day. Really do it this time. Maybe rock climbing. I need to turn my life around. What do I need to do? I need to fall in love. I need to have a girlfriend. I need to read more, improve myself. What if I learned Russian or something? Or took up an instrument? I could speak Chinese. I’d be the screenwriter who speaks Chinese and plays the oboe. That would be cool. I should get my hair cut short. Stop trying to fool myself and everyone else into thinking I have a full head of hair. How pathetic is that? Just be real. Confident. Isn’t that what women are attracted to? Men don’t have to be attractive. But that’s not true. Especially these days. Almost as much pressure on men as there is on women these days. Why should I be made to feel I have to apologize for my existence? Maybe it’s my brain chemistry. Maybe that’s what’s wrong with me. Bad chemistry. All my problems and anxiety can be reduced to a chemical imbalance or some kind of misfiring synapses. I need to get help for that. But I’ll still be ugly though. Nothing’s gonna change that.
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Monday, February 28, 2011

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Wander-lost

Fighting for the cause of freedom, I want to carry on but there's only shadow
Wanting to give meaning to my life, I want to create but the mind is too narrow
Taking the flight of fantasy, I want to fly but the sky seems too shallow
I aspire to concentrate like Arjun, but I have lost the eye of the sparrow

.....

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Monday, June 21, 2010

Creative Crap

That day A & J discussed practicality and feasibility. It had been a couple of months for their creative ideas gone directionless. The room was full of smoke, with a psycho gone on a rampage in the background. Both liked the extremist in its full color but they were also arguing over something.

They thought and they fought
They fought but they wrote.

Cut To:
INT. Room—Night
J(puffing)
Just a little fine-tuning and mark
my words “It will rock-It will rock, man”

A
But can’t we still work on something
unique, never done before stuff?
This thing we just talked, its been shown all over.

J(mocking)
Unique! Unique (huh)
Listen man, there’s got no taker
for your unique idea. Be practical. Give
the fuckers what they want and we got
an entire life to explore uniqueness

A
But that’s not how I work.
I am not here to be just another attention
hungry parasite. I left everything so that
I could give something meaningful

J
Its too difficult to make you understand, man.
Masala! Give them masala. And we can experiment
if only we got something behind us.

The temperature of the room had gone higher. The psycho had hung himself but not before claiming his final victim. There was uneasiness but it wasn’t uncommon. Both had this show-down on a daily basis.

A
If this story has to work
all of them got to die.

J
But why death? Its so easy to kill than
to make an impact keeping something alive.
Death is the first resort of creative impotents.

A
Happy ending never happens in real life and
this reality you calling impotence, has to be shown
as it is. This story will only look meaningful only if all of
them die. As such they die piecemeal, every fucking day


J
By the way nobody gives a fuck even to story.
The availability and date of the star is the key.
And since us being new, fucking producer will put
a limit to the budget. Nobody risks money on a newbie
unless you are well plugged and has sucked their ball for
too long.

They had smoked away their cigarettes and they badly needed tea. It was 3.30 in the morning and they knew Lokhandwala circle was calling.

EXT. Road Night
While on the road they kept arguing the story, they kept fighting on the whats and hows of the industry they were in.
J
You start writing this and this will
be our ticket to the big thing.
Bloody, we got something none other has.

A
Everyone around has got something J,
but the real thing is how you present it and how
you execute it. If we start with something like we
just discussed, we will be labeled and I
don’t want that to happen.

J
The world doesn’t run on what you want
and what you don’t. There’s been defined
a procedure for everything. And these rebels look good
only after they have success, it’s so killing in real life.

A
It’s not about being rebel, it’s about being you.

They finally get to the pan-shop and order 2 cutting special and chaiwala hands them over their respective brand of cigarettes.

EXT. Pan Shop Night
A
How many do you think consider
art as art and not as business. So few J, so
very few and this is where lies our chance

J
I understand what you are trying to say but still
it has to have something that confirms to their
thinking. If you take a sensational subject, something
they have never heard before, it will be difficult for them
to digest. That’s why saying just do this project first and we
can only negotiate after we’ve delivered something

A
It all boils down to choice J and if we fail to choose
this time, I am afraid all life we’ll have to compromise.

J
Just cut the crap, we are going to show all of them
in a hospital fighting for life and you are writing the
entire body now. Just finish this stuff and I’ll show you
the way where our choice shall matter.

They finish the tea and take a walk back home. As usual somewhat unfinished but mostly charged. They write, they write and in next few hours finish what they had been arguing. Finally they both had agreed on the overall flow of the work. They both are happy and know that their work has the might to stand the test of time. But how far it goes only future will tell.






..
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Friday, June 18, 2010

If only they were aware of their stupidity, world wouldn't be a bad place
If only they could recognise my genius, I would not claim to be an ace
If only they stop bullshitting, there would be no mad race
If only they could acknowledge, my creativity would be full of grace
If only they stop deluding, there would be no mad chase
But if only I could withhold, would I really have a high-held face?????


Too much of whining, he thinks, would save him from the inevitable. With only partially directed effort, he thinks his lamenting would be his ultimate savior. But if only it could be. Life is never always in black and white and he never could deal with the grey
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Friday, June 11, 2010

Poetry in Lotion

To Dreams-

"Dream on, guys" I say
"Come on, guys" I plead
Doesn't matter you fail
No big deal you succeed
Forget all want, forget what you need
Just water the plant, just plant the seed
No point in to follow when you are born to lead
Dream on guys I say Come on guys I plead



Absurdity at a glance-

Its been a day of fulfillment,
Its been a day of outcry,
Its been part silly, its been part sly,
Few things to confirm, most to deny,
When ground is a surety, why always sky,
Why always revolt, why not comply,
when there's nothing to hide why do they spy
kul mila ke chaploosi ka zamana hai Bhai.



To LOVE-
With an instant charm she had arrived
With a lasting calm she was to strive
with flair she knocked, with words she described
with imagination she flamed, with aura she framed
with elagance she attacked, with beauty she claimed
now that she's gone not sure who is to be blamed



.
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Wednesday, May 12, 2010

signAGE

When a retail leasing professional, me, was entrusted with the task of presenting a case on effective use of Signage Space in commercial office buildings, that was the first sign that recession had hit. But the fact that I was doing it for the biggest developer, for the most landmark of structures in India’s Millennium City did help to calm the initial storm and venture out in a totally new zone. With a digicam in my hand I set off for the assignment. On the then clicked, highlighted and suggested spaces are placed now the logos of brands like RayBan, Yahoo and Videocon (the new me).

The just passed recession has compelled the companies to look out for newer and innovative revenue model. The use of space available in highly visible commercial buildings for branding of companies including and in addition to the existing occupants is one such outcome. It’s prevalent abroad but quite THE NEW thing in India. Videocon is one of the occupiers in DLF Gateway Tower, Gurgaon aka The Ship Building and now the Videocon Tower, but the way the entire signage space has been sold to Videocon in this building, its unprecedented and its highly emphatic. This being one of the most visible buildings in the country in terms of daily eye balls, it presents itself as the first and most stunning example of Corporate Branding on entire building façades. Of course the Doyen of Indian Branding, Airtel, has gone one step ahead just 100 meters diagonally opposite to the Videocon Tower, but Videocon is pioneer here. The timing of Videocon rebranding itself and launching the same on Gateway Tower couldn’t have been better. In Airtel Building, unlike facade the entire construction in the property is colorful and in complete sync with the colors of Brand Bharti but its most effective only in night, and the colors seems to be overdone a bit there.

In short, the trend has been set to incorporate not a specific space but the entire building for the new age branding of new age companies. However, for the companies that don’t want the complete thing or the companies that are chick and want to brand themselves in a certain way, there is an option for going “the selective ” way like Ray Ban did or Yahoo did. Ray Ban has taken a small but equally effective corner space in the same Cybercity and overlooking the flyover. Yahoo, has gone more specific and taken one of the elevator space in one of DLF’s landmark buildings.

Signage culture is more in sync with Highstreets and Shopping Malls but strategically located Office Spaces is the newer breeding ground for it. To conclude Out of Home (OOH) Media in not a very distant future will have prime Corporate Offices in its scheme of things but only the intelligent placement and relevancy will separate wheat from chaff.
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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

'Khap'istan

“A born metropolitan from the countryside” the moment I read it (six years back) in Rushdie’s Fury, I knew he wrote to for me, or to say, for guys like me; people with rustic roots and metropolitan boots. But little did I know this seemingly glamorous tagline would implant a permanent duality in my psyche. The everyday dichotomy that was fun to begin with, has turned into an existential and metaphysical dilemma. The only consolation in this hurricane called CHANGE aka GLOBALIZATION, is the fact that I am not the only one. Ghettos surrounding the capital continue to churn out millions like me, millions metropolitans from the millions hinterlands.


The roots I am bound by, like me, are going through a thorough track change. An agriculture based civilization that prided itself in producing grains and protecting borders, is finding itself in total limbo in the face of gory globalization. The community that is known, over the years, as the ANNDAATA (bread-giver), is being forced not only to adjust to the changing global India but is also being compelled to restructure its culture and rituals. “Change is the only constant”. Agreed. BUT CHANGE BY WHOM AND CHANGE WHAT?


Has, all the advancement in technology and manufacturing, reduced human miserly by any shot?
Has, the gap between haves and have not’s, reduced in West dominated world?
Has the world become more peaceful following the CHANGE left, right and center?


That is not to say that change is undesirable. But how much to is to change, change by whom and change to what extent?

We, the rustics from Haryana, we don’t boast of a great renaissance nor of great education heritage. An age old system of Khaps is maintained to ensure the smooth flow of cultural and ritual norms. Khaps, for once, were started to oil the traditional machinery wherein dispute settlement and movement against a contentious issue figured primarily. There would be Khaps based “Kushti”(wrestling) and other healthier physical competitions. Khaps are autocratic. Yes, they are, but not overnight, and certainly not on its own. These have been empowered by its clan to look in to matter extra-ordinaire since inception. But does that mean Talibanization and Honor killing are matters of celebration? No they are not. But if Honor Killing is despicable so is killing the very notion of Honor. It’s been established within the clan that the same gotra female would be treated as sister/aunt and its an honor, duty and privilege to protect, support and facilitate them in anyway a clanster can. The big outcry against Honor Killing is understandable but what is missing is above board acceptability of same gotra marriage. In the new, global and changed India it might sound normal as well but not to those villagers. It’s a clear attack on their aesthetics. No wonder we have Taliban like dictates against every such matter and from within the most advanced and prosperous states of the country.

Now what am I trying to say?
All I want to maintain is a plain plea, an SOS call to all intellectuals and media think tank of the nation:


“Please, for the sake of all your comforts, decry and denounce every act of Honor Killing. But since you are the opinion makers of the nation and since you are shouldering the burden of nation all on your thin shoulders, please also suggest how can these poor villagers save their honor?”



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Monday, March 29, 2010

Ruthless Compassion

"If you were that concerned with your performance, motherfucker, you should have had a reality check as to where you stand." He wished Deep had said that but did not.

Rather, post the fiasco, both had a long, animated and a revolting debate about the whole issue. In normal circumstances, it would have been just another issue and would be forgotten after another of his self loathing fits. But this time he wanted to overcome it and more than him, Deep understood the need and before he could open his mouth, came out with threadbare analysis, with encouragement, with truth and more importantly with love. It helped, it more than helped, it exalted, it absolved, it liberated.

Yesterday was a special day. he informed Deep. "Remember, the day of breakdown is also the day for breakthrough, its only a matter of realization" prompt came another sermon.

Yes ,traits, combine them. Some are similar and more apart but acceptance of same by both irrespective of their place in the world, makes it unique. People in normal circumstance would term it understanding, some would call it a need based adjustment but to them its pure joy, sheer relaxation. Neither money nor comforts mean much to them. Despite some necessity or other in pipeline both laugh at the futility of it all. And despite all the sameness and coziness they share, its strange that both hold strikingly opposite life views.

While, Deep's universe revolves around love, he can't think of a world beyond achievement. Deep comes from inclusive school of thought. "Accept the people as they are, love yourself and you will loose the ability to hate". He on the other hand, as Deep would describe, has very complex filtering mechanism wherein even he himself fails the screening. "How can I love those imbeciles irrespective of how my personal equation is with them?" he usually laments.

But when dichotomy is cherished at both ends the journey becomes not contentious but "house on fire" kind. Every year he comes across a person who he becomes very fond of. Deep, he knows for four years now but affinity developed just recently. Normally, the things are normal but every now and then Deep has this knack to come up with something he wants to hear and when Deep mentioned "Ruthless Compassion" he didn't follow what came rest. He stayed put but went lost. Not that they were astoundingly big words but the essence was timing.

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Saturday, March 6, 2010

He is listening to the sound of water. The waves are tiny yet full of jest. The fishermen have their net unfolded, milkmen are there with the herd of cattle, and crops have all enveloped the circular pond. The view from the small bridge is distinct. It unearths nostalgia on one hand and brings the much needed calm on the other. Every time he is on vacation, a visit towards the pool side is a regular feature in his schedule. The passage from bridge towards fields is narrow, raw and with out any sign of concrete. The sand-laced pavement with mixed imprints of animal, machinery and men is not unusual nor any special, unless you compare it to some crowded urban road named after some somebody who nobody cares about, until he brings the personal equation he shares with the passage.
The association with the passage goes way back. He would come with fellow fraudsters sometimes to play in that only field(disputed) left barren, sometimes to run along the fields in the hope to beat them some day and sometimes to just sit along the railway track and to experience the thrill of deafening sound and sheer speed of the passing trains. The railway track had bifurcated the village nicely into two halves; one containing homes, shops, ponds and temples and the other just fields: wheat fields, mustard fields, carrot fields, onion fields, all types of fields.

The passage has played a mute friend and an encouraging patron from time to time and on need to need basis. The first memory he has of the passage, still brings that magic smile on his face, when the entire group with an average age of 9 years would strip down their shorts to wave off the trains passing by. It had become a ritual, to strip down and run in the passage simultaneously, until one of the live audiences turned out to be one of the fathers.

Not all in the community preferred this side of the world, unless one had some field commitment or one is slightly educated and thus employed and therefore just to alienate oneself from the rest, would one come here. But it was neither the field job nor the aloof air that were instrumental in forming the robust bond he had with the pavement. Everything happens for a reason but still something in life just happens and his camaraderie with the passage was with out any motive. When he would visit it in summer he would ask, "Ain't I the best athlete around?". Tell me "I am going to win this time"


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Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Urge

Once again did speak, the urge
Will you follow me or will go merge?
Hey, lonely roads also pave for surge
Listen, hunger, too,is an option when all go splurge
Knee jerk may not be better than a nudge
Honey, just follow me and to hell with all who judge


P.S.-what if the urge is CHAOS???? As GG, my split-soul would say "God, save Thy Krrist"



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