Sunday, April 26, 2009

Don't Ever

“I don’t understand this strategic break in a T20 game? Its got nothing to do with strategy, its all about Ad revenues.” What’s your take on it?
But do you really think IPL has got something to do with cricket? Its all about money. You interviewing me is also about money, everything is about money.

Why there is no movie in multiplexes? Why they are on strike?
Multiplex wallas want 33 percent reservation in parliament. They say they serve public more than anybody. Moreover when Dabba wallas can go to Harvard they at least deserve to be in parliament. They have promised to run parliament debates on their screens. What else do you want?

Who is fake IPL player?
The only real thing in this fake world.

Why the congress didn’t give ticket to Arjun Singh’s daughter?
Congress told him “but my dear, you didn’t pass the reservation bill for it.”

Why Prakash Karat won’t be a PM?
Because the only beautiful thing left with the Left is his wife and she is no where in the promo of this PM movie. Lalu, Paswan, Amar Singh, Sharad Pawar wont mind lending a supporting hand provided She asks for it. Don't think otherwise, I only mean they will do it for the sheer respect for Bhartiya Nari. May be in the second half we could see some twist.

CAT, from now on will be conducted by foreign agency. Can you explain?
Honey, we are a generous nation. We love to give away our best things. Nonetheless we will take it back in future via some auction like the Gandhi stuff we got recently. We love to give fortune for peanuts and then spend forunte to get some peanuts back.

“I will give Mayawati a jhappi and also a pappi.” Would you like to comment on what Sanju said?
It just goes on to show his taste.

What’s your take on recession?
It has receded in my ass and I have moved on.

Australia isn’t be sending their Davis Cup squad in India. Won’t it affect India’s image?
This was bound to happen. What else do you expect when you dictate Sania to play in a Saari?
Sania’s strength is her backhand, I mean back end. When you will hide it in a Saari there will be no audience, no opponents. She just won a mixed double tournament after four years. Thanks to her back end she could distract.

Indian cinema is changing. There is a new wave with exciting talent, new ideas, new content. Who would you like to attribute it to?
The fact that casting couch has got acceptance in media as well with general public, it reflects in the work. When everyone concerned is happy and satisfied it shows on screen.

“Cast your vote.” “This isn’t the end but this at least is the beginning.” “You can bring the change.” “Be the change you want to be”
Everywhere on TV, all stars are chanting these words. Will it really be able to inspire youth?
Everyone one knows they are shooting from their ass. None of them knows what they are really talking about. As for change it will only reaffirm the belief of the youth in the uselessness of it all. And they will prefer to enjoy the boring IPL matches after this. Good for them good for IPL.

Advaniji says “Manmohan Singh is the weakest Prime Minister ever.”
Probably he is telling form his experience.

Ms Swaraj and surprisingly Ms Bharti also proclaim Advaniji is a “Majboot Neta”
They must be sharing their experience. But at this age I wonder.

Interview is over. Journo thanks him and leaves. After five minutes he gets a call. Ohh, its journo again.

Hi journo. Forgot something?

Forgot my fuck. So you think you
are funny. You scum. You know what-
In just half an hour, in bloody half
An hour my balls got
chocked with water in them.
You think you are funny.
It takes balls and it takes
Brains to be funny.


No, its not recession,
Its your brain that is
Inside your rotten ass
And your balls got busted
In that couch you wanted to be
cast in. You think you are funny.
You want to have fun.

Calm down journo.
You don’t know what
Are ya sayin?

I bet you I know.
This fuckin job of mine.
Every time, everywhere I get to deal
with People like you.
Today waana tell you I
Wont take it anymore.
Motherfucker you think
You are funny. Don’t
Ever try to be funny again.
Someone will stick it up ur ass
And your brain will be in trouble then
You Asshole. You want to be funny.

Don’t ever.

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