Friday, July 31, 2009

Me-galomanic Many-festations

“Just when things look dark, they only go pitch black from there.” Paul Newman

So, it’s been a while this block is blasting the ‘wry’ter in me, left-right-upside-down. My first attempt at big-time, if anything, is awful so far. That perfect script , my masterpiece, the ‘hatke’ concept I want to burst open the scene with, is in doldrums, already. This baby, my blog, it never gets the due attention it deserves from me. Last few posts were posted as reluctantly as the one you are reading. They are making no sense but so is my life. The best and also the worst thing about words is that they expose you. However hard you try to conceal, but they do. And they are exposing me now-this moment. My darkness is being enlightened-clearly, shamelessly, nakedly.

Leave aside that big shot; the useless in me doesn’t even know what to write here, on this blog. Yes, this blog is like that crazy in love girl, that universal mother that accept their guy despite all the inconsistencies. But here, too, the silly in me want every single post to reflect a different, never seen before side of me, with out even knowing if there exists one or not. The baby continues patting the back, its still chanting the chin up mantra. Poor babe, doesn’t know there are so many ‘ifs-whys-buts-whats’ I am surrounded with, add to that some swearings-

“I will not write anything that has already been written elsewhere.”

“Enough is enough, I will not write what undies do I wear, which dhabas do I gulp in, which ads do I like, why people suck?”

“I am not a fucking journalist and neither a sucker social commentator and to hell with those current issues-Racism in Australia, Rakhi Ka Swayamvar, T-20, Mumbai Sea Link, Mumbai Rains, Terrorism, Feminism and all those isms. I don’t give a damn.”

“To, Love-Life-Relationships-Dating etc, My GHANTA. Every fucking looser on the blogsphere talks about them.”

“Forget writing, I’ll not even read how to stuff on blogging and what works and what not, and what should I write and how should I promote it? In fact I have done my bit and nothing works and I’ll write or not write as per my own whims”

“Cinema, I love and I can talk and type and talk endlessly but then every sucker talks about it. Enough of reviewing and farting, its time to create, finally. And this is a scary reminder.”

Not that I didn’t try to think of the hatke post headers. In the last one month there were a hoard of things that struck my mind but they couldn’t force the hands to type. Yes those were banal, too, but they were enticing nevertheless and those were-

“What about a post on Social Media? This is the hot thing, even if everybody is talking about it; it’s still worth all the attention. Twitter, Facebook, Flicker, Blogger, Wordpress, You Tube how will they change, shape and give a new direction to marketing, media, content generation and distribution, consumer behavior, etc. Yes, they already have but what next? “

But I am not an expert, who cares?

“When everything is going to be free how about a post on free-dom? Personal branding, will pay a crucial role in free economy-how about giving a brand mantra, after all I have studied brand management for one entire semester?”

But I am not an expert, who cares?

“Kids are doing great these days, how about this trio of under 20’s who already are micro celebrities on social websphere? Why not spread a word about real young guns? These guys are well ahead of times.”

But why? People are happy with ‘India’s Got Talent’.

“'How to’ is the best bet. Why not write an all encompassing ‘How To’ white paper-reflecting Spiritual, Yogic, Practical, Communicational, Behavioral, Metaphysical, Philosophical & Religious insights.”

Why? Why? Why should I when they already have Coelhos & Chopras? Besides the only thing people in this country know is preaching and preaching anything and everything.

“I have dealt with brands and more fashion brands for last three years. Shouldn’t I write about retail brands coming in and going out of country? India is witnessing a retail revolution why not share the experience. What’s the future of malls? Why Select Citywalk, Saket is one of the best retail property in the country and what went wrong with the adjacent DLF Place and MGF Metropolitan.?

Fuck that. I hated that job. Brands do suck when I can’t afford them.

“Sarcasm clicks. Try to be sarcastic and it’ll bring forth your creativity as well. People will laugh.”

Enough sarcasm! Fuck Sarcasm! No more sarcasm! To hell with sarcasm! As for laughing, am I joker? OK I am. But does that mean they should laugh at me? OK they should. But should I prompt them to laugh at me? OK I should but hell I won’t. OK I will but what’s the guarantee?

Despite all the attempt to force the issue things are still not coming together. So I stop here. Time for ‘Johnny Johnny Yes Pappa’ I mean “Pubic Enemies”. I love Johnny Depp.

P.S. If any sucker suggests anything about Content or “How To overcome writer ‘s block” he can already see my middle finger. But remember it’s only to show I don’t care and not to encourage the hope of a cure for your pile problem.

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